Penx – Dissaster Lyrics

[Zwrotka 1]
Moje, Mount Everest on wyżej level jest sprawdzaj
Krzyczę światu z góry pierdol się; szczyt chamstwa
Mam swój styl będę latał i chuj z tym co dalej
Z dachu świata lecę ja; the roof is on fire
Ta płyta to katastrofa tu każda zwrota to atak z kopa
Sram na boga nigdy nie pomógł nie była łatwa droga
Chuck Norris nie ma floty zgarniam hajs z obrotów dziwko
Mów mi strażnik teksasu wjeżdżam z piłą mechaniczną
Wole robić rapsy, niech to w głośnikach hula ci
Muzyka schodzi na psy sorry nie sprawdzam pitbulla
Dokładam do pieca znów pędzę dzisiaj ty weź nie ściszaj
Nie dowierzasz? ale heca, weźże spytaj Sienkiewicza
Kładę wersy nie błądzę na dzielni ci typie zrobię tu zaraz szkody
Przypadek? Nie sądzę, że ciemni spragnieni są, kurwa, ciągle tu lania wody
Kładę jest pogrzeb bredni nie zniosę i pośle wszystkich naraz w groby
Se wjadę dobrze są biedni o boże tym pizdom zrobię tu garaż z mordy!
Karny kutas wjeżdżam nieźle daje konkret wam
Wyszedł ze mnie potwór przetłumaczę numer; monster track
Krzywe fazy których u niektórych ogarnąć nie sposób
Kurwy zakładać pajączka na swój moralny kręgosłup
Pełno, paralityków, którym brakuje kunsztu
Flow kuleje, punche oklepane, że na wózku
Rzucam cień prawdy wypłynie na wierzch mam nadzieje
Chcą mnie zabić za tą prawdę dla nich to jak walka z cieniem
Czarne konie rapgry sto lat tu za murzynami idą
Pojebały wam się lejce; wszystko na jedno kopyto
Karuzela życia blant kręci się u mnie znów to samo
Wezmę dzieci rapu na plac zabaw; się wyhuśtają
Ja bedę ich wrzodem na dupie w sumie, bo mam już taką rozkminę wiecie
Bo my lubimy tu robić trzodę i jebać te tępe świnie przecież
Bo faza sprawdzaj jest mocno zryta ktoś non stop pyta ich los to przypał
Wezmę te czeki i zmienię bieg rzeki te kurwy odejdą od koryta

[Refren]
Nadciąga katastrofa, ten rap to atak z kopa
Nadciągam z miasta smoka, te wersy trzaskam z glocka
Nadciąga katastrofa, ten rap to atak z kopa
Nadciągam z miasta smoka, te wersy trzaskam z glocka

[Zwrotka 2]
Jestem nieobliczalny więc weź się tutaj nie równaj do mnie
Równości chcą podobno chłopcy co są kurwa w formie
I walą konia nad sobą poruszę znów temat
Nie dojdą za daleko no bo znów ich chuj strzela
Spuszczam ich po brzytwie, to mnie do granic wzmacnia
Nie spuszczam z oczu, kładę na ostrzu reszta to grawitacja
Bardzo przykre, że gówno robią a to ktoś łyknie
Zamiast ruchać scenę, to te kurwy gwałcą replay
Jebany paradoks ciężko wam to pojąć, wiec dissuję
Twardo stoją niby chłopcy zrobieni miękkim chujem
Ci chłopcy na żelu kurwa co idą na lans
Noszą kondomy w portfelu, chuja mają a nie hajs
I chuj kładę na wszystko jak z resztą słychać
Wciąż nie wiem gdzie ich przyszłość póki co pyta
Biorę ich pod lupę niech się skupią jestem gotów
Bo nawet pod lupą nie wyjdą już na większych idiotów

[Refren x2]

[Zwrotka 3]
Ich linijki to miara ale za chuj nie pojmiesz?
Każdy się stara obliczyć, ile brakuje do mnie
Gówno z tego będzie ciągle są za mali gracze
Samozaparcie? żeby się tu nie zesrali czasem
Wchodzę na pokład to kurwa morze chce się zapalić
Każdy się buja ciężko, boże, znowu jestem na fali
Mamy tu paru serferów skumaj co chcą być tu na szerokich wodach
A kurwa trzęsą portami gdy chcą się podpiąć do nas, szkoda
Mi na nich czasu, bo chce kurwy utopić i basta
Ten rap jak pendrive, no bo biorę długopis i jazda
I jestem zimny jak głaz a, i nie chce się stoczyć bo pasja
Nie daje tu zwątpić i wzmacnia, ty lepiej odbij i patrz jak
Dosięgam dna, wpadłem na głęboką wodę
Doczekam dnia, że będzie w końcu spoko ziomek
Vendetta blau, będę tak grał i po rozmowie
Dziękuje wam, dzięki wam se robię to, co robię

Troy Ave – Chuck Norris (Hoes & Gangstas) (Album Of The Summer Album)

[Hook]
You the type of low I ain’t feeling
The type that don’t take care of they children
I never, ever let a nigga play me
If you get caught, don’t say me
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you

[Verse 1]
I’m out here just to flourish
Kicking that shit like Chuck Norris
Saint Laurent, stand firm though
Close your motherfucking mouth, you can learn hoe
Real ones know to be quiet
I’m getting money, you should try it
Eating off a digi-scale, fish diet
I don’t do drugs, let the bitches try it
She get high on the fucking low
She get bi so I fuck ’em both
Now they kissing in the strip club
A few dollars make ’em do the most

[Hook]
You the type of low I ain’t feeling
The type that don’t take care of they children
I never, ever let a nigga play me
If you get caught, don’t say me
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you

[Verse 2]
Fake niggas stop acting like you know me
We ain’t cool, we ain’t friends, we ain’t homies
Yousa Kit Kat, gimme a break
I’m head to toe in Versace but don’t fuck with snakes
Medusa, all this Medusa
I’m a pretty fly nigga that’ll shoot ya
Catch a bitch eyeing niggas, then manuver
Getting head in the Benz, it’s super

[Hook]
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you

[Verse 3]
In the streets with the top off
Giving niggas every chance just to pop off
They frauds, they knock offs
They are Charmin, they are Scott soft
Tissue, what’s really the issue?
Unofficial niggas always hate on the official
I ain’t that kind when I blow it, ain’t a whistle
I am that kind that stand over you with pistols
It is what it is and I feel no remorse
Been married to the game and we still ain’t divorced
Harry with the cane, got the powder, get the cost
Doing Business, doing fitness, so I floss, of course

[Hook]
You the type of low I ain’t feeling
The type that don’t take care of they children
I never, ever let a nigga play me
If you get caught, don’t say me
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you
I fucks with the hoes and the gangsters
I’m up with the dough yelling thank you

Key! – Regular Guy

[Hook]
I want a day date with ice
Our dinner date wasn’t nice
She threw her Chanel on the floor
I kicked her out but wanted more
Lately I’m feeling important
Money it keep on pouring
I could buck Chuck Norris
But I’m just a regular guy
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check

[Verse 1]
I don’t need special attention, I just want special attention
From your bitch, from your
I’m not over anybody, my niggas catching bodies
Shit get real, Jumanji
Shit get real, hey trust me
I got bad bitches too
They get attitudes too
I got court dates too
I don’t go like you
Four five stay up on me
I gotta watch my back
‘Cause I’m not just anybody
I’m not just, ok
I’m just a regular cat
I’m pulling tricks out the hat
I put my swag on the map
I put my swag on the map
I’m just a regular dog
Running and tear down the walls
Y’all is so regular, dog
Ain’t I glad I ain’t y’all

[Hook]
I want a day date with ice
Our dinner date wasn’t nice
She threw her Chanel on the floor
I kicked her out but wanted more
Lately I’m feeling important
Money it keep on pouring
I could buck Chuck Norris
But I’m just a regular guy
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check

[Verse 2]
I let money talk when I’m lazy
I’m so geeked up, man my heart won’t stop racing
I don’t want to be nobody else but I
I’m so fucking fly, man I’m one with the sky
See I’m just like you, just tryna enjoy my life
Money got me acting different, fours in the Sprite
Folks just so damn nosy, they don’t know what it’s like
I’m doing something different and you noticed it right
Folks get to judging so I stay with my nina
I’m in love with my nina like Martin loved Gina
I still got her wet, I got her wet like Katrina
You still savin’ hoes, man your ass like FEMA

[Hook]
I want a day date with ice
Our dinner date wasn’t nice
She threw her Chanel on the floor
I kicked her out but wanted more
Lately I’m feeling important
Money it keep on pouring
I could buck Chuck Norris
But I’m just a regular guy
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check
I’m just a regular guy, I just ran into a check

The Fawkles – Jackie Chan lyrics

¡Jackie Chan!
Ya tiene como setenta
Y aún nos puede impresionar.
Humillando a Chuck Norris
Y de paso a Bruce Lee, porque…

Nada es imposible, ¡es Jackie Chan!
No hay muro que el no pueda superar. (¡No, no!)
Nada es imposible, ¡es Jackie Chan!
Sus huevos en tu mente plantará.

¡Mmmmmh!
¡Mmmmmmh!

¡Jackie Chan!
Un cantante de ópera
Y virtuoso musical.
Él aprecia esta letra
Le parece perfecta, ¡yeah!

Nada es imposible, ¡es Jackie Chan!
Su cara en la moneda nacional. (¡Oh, si!)
Nada es imposible, ¡es Jackie Chan!
Con sus ojos el te puede embarazar.

¡Mmmmmh!
¡Mmmmmmh!

¡Jackie Chan!
Ya tiene como setenta
Y aún nos puede impresionar.
Humillando a Chuck Norris
Y de paso a Bruce Lee, porque…

Nada es imposible, ¡es Jackie Chan!
Su cara en la moneda nacional. (¡Ha ha!)
Nada es imposible, ¡es Jackie Chan!
Con sus ojos el te puede embarazar.

¡Mmmmmh!
¡Mmmmmmh!

(¡No Jackie Chan, no!)
(¡Mmmmmhhhhhh!)

Aaron Rose – The Shift (feat. Dirty Sanchez) (Elixir Album)

[Verse 1: Dirty Sanchez]
This got my chakras going crazy, maintain balance
Or we can get lifted off the purp like Aladdin
On the rug burning on hail mary, flip stars upside-down
I’m Satanic but I’m hell-bound
I’m from the real city of sin since New Yuck City built
Split ends like kids from Chinchoti
If you eatin’ in front of me, I’ma eat too
Give me sick army fatigue so you can’t see me
Still always on the move, it’s PE so you know the drill
Screws loose and I didn’t finish school
That’s for dropouts, tracks dropping like rain when you feeling the drought
And your umbrella won’t make it through
So if they actin’ like they real that don’t make it true
Make your move, you confused when you acting that you fucking with the few
Yo, understand who it is, it’s PE to you
Top dog, niggas can’t cook what I’m cooking in stools

[Hook: Aaron Rose]
This that shit that make your bones split
Cause a shift, so shit, your dome is now flipped
What up nigga? Where you from?
Everywhere that we at we number one
This that shit that make your bones split
Cause a shift, so shit, your dome is now flipped
What up nigga? Where you from?
Everywhere that we at we number one

[Verse 2: Aaron Rose]
They tryna swerve in my lane, I’m revving engines on the interstate
Finna renovate, ’cause I demonstrate the [?]
I generate dinner plates when I kill a fake
Disintegrate, break down what I illustrate
Swank called Da Vinci, I been chi
Indian hat, sweater [?] like Benfleet
Talking about war? I get nuclear
Genocide rhymes, a nigga nuking y’all
Stay with the green like cabbage
I inflict damage equivalent to 9/11
Minus five, minus four, four-seven
No tellin’ what we doing next
Just know when we do it, we do it best
Swank on Chuck Norris, a nigga never run
Flow outer space, on [?] on Nebulon
Serving reptilian hors d’oeuvres on [?]
The beast will feast as the wind blows east
Putty on the rest, invest in some sheets
‘Til your death, glad your last memory is me
Remember my face, my skill, and my fucking swank
Arsenal fully loaded, Pro Era tanks

[Hook: Aaron Rose]
This that shit that make your bones split
Cause a shift, so shit, your dome is now flipped
What up nigga? Where you from?
Everywhere that we at we number one
This that shit that make your bones split
Cause a shift, so shit, your dome is now flipped
What up nigga? Where you from?
Everywhere that we at we number one

[Outro: Aaron Rose]
Everywhere that we out we number one
Everywhere that we out we number one
We number one

Eminem – Campaign Speech (For President Album)

Jumped out of the 2nd floor of a record store
With a Treacherous Four cassette and a cassette recorder
In Ecuador with Edward Norton
Witness the metamorphosis
Of a legend growin’ like an expert swordsman
From the Hessian war and
Hence the origin of the Headless Horseman
Born with the endorphins of a pathetic orphan
Endless source and reservoir
Of extension cords in dresser drawers
And deadbolts on the bedroom doors
And sexual torture kits kept in a separate storage bin
Excellent boyfriend

Use intercourse to settle scores
With women who have vendettas towards men
Dickhead is forced in ’til there’s shredded foreskin
Reddish torn and they’re only bein’ fed a portion
Bed sores and sore shins
Pregnant whores can get abortions
Fetish for stickin’ metal forks in, self-absorption
Skeletor, I went to Hell and fell a floor
A predator, I’m headed for competitors
Better warn ’em, what I lack in tact and a set of morals
I make up for in metaphors like a cosmetic store
Stegosaurus, Chuck Norris with a thesaurus
Yes, of course, a mess of warrants
You want some? Come and get some, boys!
I’m givin’ Daniel Pantaleo a refresher course
On excessive force and pressure points
And dressin’ George Zimmerman in a fluorescent orange
Dress and four inch heels to address the court
With a bullseye on his back, his whole chest and torso
Are left on the doorsteps of Trayvon’s dad as a present for him

In my present form I’m Desert Storm
Appetite for destruction there’s no suppressant for
Aggressive, forceful, and less remorseful in every morsel
Unpleasant, horrible; hello, gorgeous!
The rebel with devil horns just fell off the yellow short bus
Met a contortionist, said, "When you wanna get sexual?"
She said, "However I fit in your schedule. I’m flexible."
Expired tags on the Saturn, got Catherine Bach
In the back in Daisy Dukes with the hazards on
At a traffic stop gettin’ harassed, sign an autograph
For this asshole cop’s daughter
Laugh ’cause I called her a brat on it
He spat on it and brought it back lookin’ half in shock
Had a heart attack and dropped dead
Started fallin’ back with it
And got slapped with a Colin Kaepernick practice sock

One ball and half a dick, Apple Watch
Crack front axle, walked in a Bass Pro Shop with David Hasselhoff, pulled Tabasco sauce out of my satchel
Knocked over a fisherman’s tackle box and *crash sound*
Asked if they had a laugh in stock
That was fuckin’ stupid…

You got it twisted, all ’cause I offered this bitch
A doggie biscuit, you call me misogynistic
Bitch, get to massagin’ this dick!
Like spas in this bitch, slob on it with gobs of lipstick
Got a shoppin’ list for you to run some odds and ends with
It’s not a bitch on this earth I can be monogamous with
She’s non-existent
Robin Thicke with a throbbin’ dick on some suave and slick shit
But I shout derogatives at bitches like fuckin’ missile launches
Misfit, blond and nitwit
Like I’ve gone ballistic, with a frostin’ tip kit
Screamed, "I hate blondes," and became one, I’m optimistic
Love to start shit
Shovin’ Clark Kent’s undergarments in the glove compartment
Of the bucket, bumpin’ Bubba Sparxxx
I’m double parkin’ up at Targets, trouble causer, a double crosser
Shadiest mothafucka you’ll ever come across
Olympic gymnast, been known for some assaults
A couple lawsuits, enough to cause a stomach ulcer
Same damn brain scan results as Rainman’s is
Something’s off, but when Dustin Hoffman’s
Dressin’ up in your mummy costume
On stage dancin’ to "Brain Damage," what’s the problem?
Nothing’s wrong, the name brand is back to reclaim status
Run the faucet, I’mma dunk
A bunch of Trump supporters underwater
Snuck up on ’em in Ray-Bans in a gray van with a spray tan
It’s a wrap, like an ACE bandage
Don’t-give-a-fuck persona, to my last DNA strand
E&J in the waistband, at the VMAs with the stagehand
She wants kielbasa, pre-arrange an escape plan
Three-inch blade on point, like a See-and-Say
Consider me a dangerous man
But you should be afraid of this dang candidate
You say Trump don’t kiss ass like a puppet
‘Cause he runs his campaign with his own cash for the fundin’
And that’s what you wanted
A fuckin’ loose cannon who’s blunt with his hand on the button
Who doesn’t have to answer to no one—great idea!

If I was president
Gettin’ off is the first order of business
Once I get in office
Second thing that’ll make me happy’s walkin’ up to Uncle Sam
Naked, laughin’, dick cupped in hand
Screamin’, "Fuck safe sex!"
Throw a latex and an AIDS test at him
Tell Congress I run this land
And I want the rubber banned, and make it snappy
Addiction to friction and static
Addict who can’t escape the habit
Continue to chase the dragon
But as fate would have it, I walked up in Major Magics
Dressed as the maintenance man
In a laser tag vest and a racin’ jacket
With a gauge to blast it
And sped away in the station wagon
Stacey Dash’s and Casey Anthony’s
Crazy asses in the backseat
Throwin’ Stayfree pads at me
Dead passenger in the passenger seat
Unfasten the safety latches
And slam on the brakes in traffic so hard
I snapped the relocation brackets for the monster tires
‘Finna get a murder case and catch it
Like you threw it at me encased in plastic

And send Dylann Roof through the windshield of the Benz
Until he spins like a pinwheel and begins feelin’…
Like a windmiller with a thin build while his skin’s peelin’
And skids ’til he hits a cement pillar
Swing for the fence like Prince Fielder
Knock it into the upper peninsula
You wanna go against ‘zilla? The Rap God
When will I quit? Never been realer
The in-stiller of fear, not even a scintilla of doubt
Whose pens iller than Prince in a chinchilla
Or Ben Stiller in a suspense thriller
Revenge killer, avenge syllable binge
Fill a syringe, ’til I
Draw first blood
Even pop shit on my pop shit, and it’s popular
Couldn’t be more awkwarder
Cause you’re innocence I robbed you of
It’s my fingers that got stuck up
Taught ya ta, not give a
Slapstick, hockey puck
The broad hunter with the sawed off
Like an arm when it’s lopped off of ya
But I’m not gonna, get the shotgun
Or the Glock, I’m gonna opt for the ox
Cause I’m into objects that are sharp when I shop
And it’s not a shock, I’m such an obnoxious fucker
The Rock Hudson of rock ’cause who would have thought
This much of a cocksucker to go across the buttocks of Vivica Fox with a box cutter
That was for 50, little slap on the wrist be warned
I’m unravelin’ quickly
My squabbles, I’m grappling with your time traveling with me
Try and follow, as I wobble, relapse into history, with a flask of the whiskey
Tip it back then I’m twisting wine bottles
Like what happened to Chris Reeve’s spine column
That’s the plan of attack when I’m fixing my problems
Wish my chest wasn’t having to get these rhymes off ’em
But the fact that I have so many rappers against me mind boggles
And why I haven’t come back on these faggots who diss me is
More of a spectacular mystery than a fucking Agatha Christie crime novel

But my patience is wearing thin
Swear I been contemplatin’ rubbing shit in your face ’til I smear it in
Diss you in every lyric until you fear the pen
And never appear again
If you actually had fuckin’ careers to end
But then I think of Molly Qerim and I steer ’em in that direction and forget my ideas for them
Molly, I’m gone off you
Man, light some kush
You’re my first take, I’ll nail you
Can’t lie, I gush
If I won you over, you would be the grand prize
I’m entranced by your looks, come and give the Shady franchise a push
You can get it in the can like some Anheuser Busch
Jeans too small, least three pant sizes tush
Mushed against your damn side, your puss
And thighs are squished
What kind of attire’s that?
I’m ready to be rode
Psychopath, bet you we’ll get it poppin’ like a flat
Light the match to ignite the wrath
Got knives to slash and slice hermaphrodites in half
Piper Chapmans might just have to picket me
Like a scab
Hard to describe in fact
Startling violent perhaps
Are things that come to mind as soon as I start spitting rhymes like that
And you aren’t really surprised at that
But as far as these lines I rap
And these bars, wouldn’t dial it back if I star 69ed the track

Why am I such a dick?

Eminem – Campaign Speech

Jumped out of the 2nd floor of a record store
With a Treacherous Four cassette and a cassette recorder
In Ecuador with Edward Norton
Witness the metamorphosis
Of a legend growin’ like an expert swordsman
From the Hessian war and
Hence the origin of the Headless Horseman
Born with the endorphins of a pathetic orphan
Endless source and reservoir
Of extension cords in dresser drawers
And deadbolts on the bedroom doors
And sexual torture kits kept in a separate storage bin
Excellent boyfriend

Use intercourse to settle scores
With women who have vendettas towards men
Dickhead is forced in ’til there’s shredded foreskin
Reddish torn and they’re only bein’ fed a portion
Bed sores and sore shins
Pregnant whores can get abortions
Fetish for stickin’ metal forks in, self-absorption
Skeletor, I went to Hell and fell a floor
A predator, I’m headed for competitors
Better warn ’em, what I lack in tact and a set of morals
I make up for in metaphors like a cosmetic store
Stegosaurus, Chuck Norris with a thesaurus
Yes, of course, a mess of warrants
You want some? Come and get some, boys!
I’m givin’ Daniel Pantaleo a refresher course
On excessive force and pressure points
And dressin’ George Zimmerman in a fluorescent orange
Dress and four inch heels to address the court
With a bullseye on his back, his whole chest and torso
Or left on the doorsteps of Trayvon’s dad as a present for him
In my present form I’m Desert Storm
Appetite for destruction there’s no suppressant for
Aggressive, forceful, and less remorseful in every morsel
Unpleasant, horrible; hello, gorgeous!
The rebel with devil horns just fell off the yellow short bus
Met a contortionist, said, “When you wanna get sexual?”
She said, “However I fit in your schedule. I’m flexible.”
Expired tags on the Saturn, got Catherine Bach
In the back in Daisy Dukes with the hazards on
At a traffic stop gettin’ harassed, sign an autograph
For this asshole cop’s daughter
Laugh ’cause I called her a brat on it
He spat on it and brought it back lookin’ half in shock
Had a heart attack and dropped dead
Started fallin’ back with it
And got slapped with a Colin Kaepernick practice sock

One ball and half a dick, Apple Watch
Crack front axle, walked in a Bass Pro Shop with David Hasselhoff, pulled Tabasco sauce out of my satchel
Knocked over a fisherman’s tackle box and *crash sound*
Asked if they had a laughin’ stock
That was fuckin’ stupid…

You got it twisted, all ’cause I offered this bitch
A doggie biscuit, you call me misogynistic
Bitch, get to massagin’ this dick!
Like spas in this bitch, slob on it with gobs of lipstick
Got a shoppin’ list for you to run some odds and ends with
It’s not a bitch on this earth I can be monogamous with
She’s non-existent
Robin Thicke with a throbbin’ dick on some suave and slick shit
But I shout derogatives at bitches like fuckin’ missile launches
Misfit, blond and nitwit
Like I’ve gone ballistic, with a frostin’ tip kit
Screamed, “I hate blondes,” and became one, I’m optimistic
Love to start shit
Shovin’ Clark Kent’s undergarments in the glove compartment
Of the bucket, bumpin’ Bubba Sparxxx
I’m double parkin’ up at Targets, trouble ’causer, a double crosser
Shadiest mothafucka you’ll ever come across
Olympic gymnast, been known for some assaults
A couple lawsuits, enough to cause a stomach ulcer
Same damn brain scan results as Rainman’s is
Something’s off, but when Dustin Hoffman’s
Dressin’ up in your mummy costume
On stage dancin’ to “Brain Damage,” what’s the problem?
Nothing’s wrong, the name brand is back to reclaim status
Run the faucet, I’ma dunk
A bunch of Trump supporters underwater
Snuck up on ’em in Ray Bans in a gray van with a spray tan
It’s a wrap, like an Ace bandage
Don’t-give-a-fuck persona, to my last DNA strand
E&J in the waistband, at the VMAs with the stagehand
She wants kielbasa, pre-arrange an escape plan
Three-inch blade on point, like a See-and-Say
Consider me a dangerous man
But you should be afraid of this dang candidate
You say Trump don’t kiss ass like a puppet
‘Cause he runs his campaign with his own cash for the fundin’
And that’s what you wanted
A fuckin’ loose cannon who’s blunt with his hand on the button
Who doesn’t have to answer to no one—great idea!

If I was president
Gettin’ off is the first order of business
Once I get in office
Second thing that’ll make me happy’s walkin’ up to Uncle Sam
Naked, laughin’, dick cupped in hand
Screamin’, “Fuck safe sex!”
Throw a latex and an AIDS test at him
Tell Congress I run this land
And I want the rubber banned, and make it snappy
Addiction to friction and static
Addict who can’t escape the habit
Continue to chase the dragon
But as fate would have it, I walked up in Major Magics
Dressed as the maintenance man
In a laser tag vest and a racin’ jacket
With a gauge to blast it
And sped away in the station wagon
Stacey Dash’s and Casey Anthony’s
Crazy asses in the backseat
Throwin’ Stayfree pads at me
Dead passenger in the passenger seat
Unfasten the safety latches
And slam on the brakes in traffic so hard
I snapped the relocation brackets for the monster tires
‘Finna get a murder case and catch it
Like you threw it at me encased in plastic

And send Dylann Roof through the windshield of the Benz
Until he spins like a pinwheel and begins feelin’…
Like a windmiller with a thin build while his skin’s peelin’
And skids ’til he hits a cement pillar
Swing for the fence like Prince Fielder
Knock it into the upper peninsula
You wanna go against ‘zilla? The Rap God
When will I quit? Never been realer
The in-stiller of fear, not even a scintilla of doubt
Whose pens iller than Prince in a chinchilla
Or Ben Stiller in a suspense thriller
Revenge killer, avenge syllable binge
Fill a syringe, ’til I
Draw first blood
Even pop shit on my pop shit, and it’s popular
Couldn’t be more awkwarder
Cause you’re innocence I robbed you of
It’s my fingers that got stuck up
Taught ya ta, not give a
Slapstick, hockey puck
The broad hunter with the sawed off
Like an arm when it’s lopped off of ya
But I’m not gonna, get the shotgun
Or the Glock, I’m gonna opt for the ox
Cause I’m into objects that are sharp when I shop
And it’s not a shock, I’m such an obnoxious fucker
The Rock Hudson of rock ’cause who would have thought
This much of a cocksucker to go across the buttocks of Vivica Fox with a box cutter
That was for 50, little slap on the wrist be warned
I’m unravelin’ quickly
My squabbles, I’m grappling with your time traveling with me
Try and follow, as I wobble, relapse into history, with a flask of the whiskey
Tip it back then I’m twisting wine bottles
Like what happened to Chris Reeve’s spine column
That’s the plan of attack when I’m fixing my problems
Wish my chest wasn’t having to get these rhymes off ’em
But the fact that I have so many rappers against me mind boggles
And why I haven’t come back on these faggots who diss me is
More of a spectacular mystery than a fucking Agatha Christie crime novel

But my patience is wearing thin
Swear I been contemplatin’ rubbing shit in your face ’til I smear it in
Diss you in every lyric until you fear the pen
And never appear again
If you actually had fuckin’ careers to end
But then I think of Molly Qerim and I steer ’em in that direction and forget my ideas for them
Molly, I’m gone off you
Man, light some kush
You’re my first take, I’ll nail you
Can’t lie, I gush
If I won you over, you would be the grand prize
I’m entranced by your looks, come and give the Shady franchise a push
You can get it in the can like some Anheuser Busch
Jeans too small, least three pant sizes tush
Mushed against your damn side, your puss
And thighs are squished
What kind of attires that?
I’m ready to be rode
Psychopath, bet you we’ll get it poppin’ like a flat
Light the match to ignite the wrath
Got knives to slash and slice hermaphrodites in half
Piper Chapmans might just have to picket me
Like a scab
Hard to describe in fact
Startling violent perhaps
Are things that come to mind as soon as I start spitting rhymes like that
And you aren’t really surprised at that
But as far as these lines I rap
And these bars, wouldn’t dial it back if I star 69ed the track

Why am I such a dick?